Thursday, August 03, 2006
A Venti Mistake
I had my first Starbucks coffee today.
I know, I know... it's shocking, isn't it?!
In all the years that it has been around (and Starbucks outlets are popping out like rabbit babies, aren't they), I have never stepped into a Starbucks outlet... until today.
Back in Singapore, Coffee Bean did it for me, and I managed to stay clear of Starbucks, which some of you may feel is humanly impossible.
The biggest reason has got to be what it represents - increasingly intrusive 'American imperialism', unbridled market saturation and just the company colour which reminds me uncomfortably of money - that's what they do, breed like lice to make money out of us caffeine-addicts. As I was telling Leanne, the colour green and coffee just don't go. Coffee is not the colour of money, coffee is not the colour of a green-grocer's apron, coffee is not the colour of a cool and moist rainforest. Coffee is not a half-naked woman with two fish-tails. Coffee is warm and inviting and fragrant and steaming and smells like heat and roast. Coffee is the colour brown and black with a dollop of whipped cream. Coffee is a mug with brown swirls. In other words, I'm sticking to Gloria Jeans.
So the next time you want to go to a rabbit-baby outlet to buy coffee that comes in sizes with the strangest names (how nice to know that we can substitute the words "small", "medium" and "large" with "tall", "grande" and "venti". So dwarfs are "tall", an average person is of "grande" size, and all towering giants can call themself "venti". I truly marvel at the Starbucks lingo.), you're on your own.
Edit:
Click here to read an interesting article (from, oh, just two yeas ago - I really am keeping abreast of things) if you want to read more people ranting about the odd Starbucks size lingo. Some of them are truly witty. It's lovely how they call those big evil companies on their bullshit and wave a victory banner for us all.
I know, I know... it's shocking, isn't it?!
In all the years that it has been around (and Starbucks outlets are popping out like rabbit babies, aren't they), I have never stepped into a Starbucks outlet... until today.
Back in Singapore, Coffee Bean did it for me, and I managed to stay clear of Starbucks, which some of you may feel is humanly impossible.
The biggest reason has got to be what it represents - increasingly intrusive 'American imperialism', unbridled market saturation and just the company colour which reminds me uncomfortably of money - that's what they do, breed like lice to make money out of us caffeine-addicts. As I was telling Leanne, the colour green and coffee just don't go. Coffee is not the colour of money, coffee is not the colour of a green-grocer's apron, coffee is not the colour of a cool and moist rainforest. Coffee is not a half-naked woman with two fish-tails. Coffee is warm and inviting and fragrant and steaming and smells like heat and roast. Coffee is the colour brown and black with a dollop of whipped cream. Coffee is a mug with brown swirls. In other words, I'm sticking to Gloria Jeans.
So the next time you want to go to a rabbit-baby outlet to buy coffee that comes in sizes with the strangest names (how nice to know that we can substitute the words "small", "medium" and "large" with "tall", "grande" and "venti". So dwarfs are "tall", an average person is of "grande" size, and all towering giants can call themself "venti". I truly marvel at the Starbucks lingo.), you're on your own.
Edit:
Click here to read an interesting article (from, oh, just two yeas ago - I really am keeping abreast of things) if you want to read more people ranting about the odd Starbucks size lingo. Some of them are truly witty. It's lovely how they call those big evil companies on their bullshit and wave a victory banner for us all.
# posted by me lah @ 7:12 pm 
