Tuesday, September 19, 2006
A struggle to the death between past and present
"You make me feel better about myself."
There really are two ways of looking at this.
1) You make me feel better about myself because you are fatter, uglier and dumber than I am. Standing next to you, I am positively divine.
2) You make me feel better about myself because you mean the world to me. All my fatness, ugliness and dumbness disappear when I stand next to you.
I think too many years of being 1) to so many people has made it impossible for me to be 2) to anyone.
Edited to add: I realise that my phrasing makes the message I intend to put across very ambiguous. What I mean is: years of being the 'fatter, uglier and dumber' one that makes other people feel better about themselves has made it impossible for me to be the one that means the world to someone else.
But that's so self-pitying, it's disgusting. So ignore the whole damn entry, I was in 'existential pain' as I was typing that.
There really are two ways of looking at this.
1) You make me feel better about myself because you are fatter, uglier and dumber than I am. Standing next to you, I am positively divine.
2) You make me feel better about myself because you mean the world to me. All my fatness, ugliness and dumbness disappear when I stand next to you.
I think too many years of being 1) to so many people has made it impossible for me to be 2) to anyone.
Edited to add: I realise that my phrasing makes the message I intend to put across very ambiguous. What I mean is: years of being the 'fatter, uglier and dumber' one that makes other people feel better about themselves has made it impossible for me to be the one that means the world to someone else.
But that's so self-pitying, it's disgusting. So ignore the whole damn entry, I was in 'existential pain' as I was typing that.
# posted by me lah @ 8:59 pm 
