Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Today, I met a pervert on the tram.
After a long day at uni, I got on the tram near the Royal Parade Circular junction.
Got on the tram. Thanked the driver for waiting for me (I was running to catch the tram from across the road).
Sat down.
At the next stop, a large bespectacled man in a red polo shirt with white horizontal stripes got on and sat next to me, on my left.
After a while, I felt his leg press against mine. I thought little of it, assuming that he needed more space, being larger in size than I am. I shifted a little bit to the right. Well, a few seconds later, I again felt him subtly shifting towards me, and felt his leg press against mine again. Again, I tried to dismiss this, even though I was starting to get a bit wary.
I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe he was just using the extra space to get more comfortable. I shifted to my right again. To my utmost dread, I felt him move towards me once more.
I shifted a third time. He followed. This time I knew for sure he was up to no good, but decided to squash myself way up against the window, just to confirm things. So there I was, cheek pressed against glass, face turned away, left arm clutching my right shoulder in my best attempt to protect myself. Curled up and pathetic and scared and sad.
And what do you know, he moves again, pressing the length of his thigh and calf and shoe against mine.
My worst suspicions confirmed, I suddenly stand up and walk to the end of the tram to sit down elsewhere. I catch him turning back to see me go, but thank god he doesn't follow me. When he gets off the tram, he full on stares at me when he walks past.
Now, I can already imagine what people would say to that. They would go, "You should have screamed. You should have scolded him. You should have told the tram driver. You should have slapped him."
I should have, I should have, I should have. Done this, done that. But to be honest, the only thing I was feeling then was fear. He was more than twice my size, there was hardly anyone else on the tram to turn to for help and I did not go to the tram driver, because it would have been the pervert's word against mine and I would have had no solid proof.
The reason why I bring this incident up is not to have a laugh about it. Nor is it some sick, twisted attempt to say "hee! I'm attractive enough to get weirdos try to feel me up!" No fucking way. I felt violated, I felt angry, I felt scared. I was dressed conservatively in jeans, t-shirt and jacket. Normal uni garb. (note: this does not mean that I think people who are dressed revealingly should be molested or raped, no! It is my firm stand that no one deserves to get raped/molested regardless of what they're wearing, what they look like, and so on. I will bite the head off anyone who says things like "she was asking for it, her skirt was so short") I was sitting quietly, listening to my ipod, not inviting any attention. Yet I was made to feel unsafe, on something as prosaic and mundane as a tram ride home in the late afternoon.
I am fully justified in yelling out sexism on this one. Men who feel entitled to women's bodies do this sort of thing. Men who feel they can intimidate women, just because she appears to be harmless while he's much bigger and stronger, do this. Men who think that forcing themselves on women and inappropriately touching them, is ok. My experience is very very common, and lots of other girls and women would have gone through much worse. I stand in solidarity with all of them.
After a long day at uni, I got on the tram near the Royal Parade Circular junction.
Got on the tram. Thanked the driver for waiting for me (I was running to catch the tram from across the road).
Sat down.
At the next stop, a large bespectacled man in a red polo shirt with white horizontal stripes got on and sat next to me, on my left.
After a while, I felt his leg press against mine. I thought little of it, assuming that he needed more space, being larger in size than I am. I shifted a little bit to the right. Well, a few seconds later, I again felt him subtly shifting towards me, and felt his leg press against mine again. Again, I tried to dismiss this, even though I was starting to get a bit wary.
I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe he was just using the extra space to get more comfortable. I shifted to my right again. To my utmost dread, I felt him move towards me once more.
I shifted a third time. He followed. This time I knew for sure he was up to no good, but decided to squash myself way up against the window, just to confirm things. So there I was, cheek pressed against glass, face turned away, left arm clutching my right shoulder in my best attempt to protect myself. Curled up and pathetic and scared and sad.
And what do you know, he moves again, pressing the length of his thigh and calf and shoe against mine.
My worst suspicions confirmed, I suddenly stand up and walk to the end of the tram to sit down elsewhere. I catch him turning back to see me go, but thank god he doesn't follow me. When he gets off the tram, he full on stares at me when he walks past.
Now, I can already imagine what people would say to that. They would go, "You should have screamed. You should have scolded him. You should have told the tram driver. You should have slapped him."
I should have, I should have, I should have. Done this, done that. But to be honest, the only thing I was feeling then was fear. He was more than twice my size, there was hardly anyone else on the tram to turn to for help and I did not go to the tram driver, because it would have been the pervert's word against mine and I would have had no solid proof.
The reason why I bring this incident up is not to have a laugh about it. Nor is it some sick, twisted attempt to say "hee! I'm attractive enough to get weirdos try to feel me up!" No fucking way. I felt violated, I felt angry, I felt scared. I was dressed conservatively in jeans, t-shirt and jacket. Normal uni garb. (note: this does not mean that I think people who are dressed revealingly should be molested or raped, no! It is my firm stand that no one deserves to get raped/molested regardless of what they're wearing, what they look like, and so on. I will bite the head off anyone who says things like "she was asking for it, her skirt was so short") I was sitting quietly, listening to my ipod, not inviting any attention. Yet I was made to feel unsafe, on something as prosaic and mundane as a tram ride home in the late afternoon.
I am fully justified in yelling out sexism on this one. Men who feel entitled to women's bodies do this sort of thing. Men who feel they can intimidate women, just because she appears to be harmless while he's much bigger and stronger, do this. Men who think that forcing themselves on women and inappropriately touching them, is ok. My experience is very very common, and lots of other girls and women would have gone through much worse. I stand in solidarity with all of them.
Labels: Sexism
# posted by me lah @ 7:24 pm 
